Lacking
Rather ironically since we changed the website to make it easier to blog etc i have blogged less. Many apologies for the lack of blog recently. I will now return to blogging every other day (for those 2 soles who may be interested).
I have finally done something else i have meant to do for an age. I have watched ‘The harder they come’. The film is dark, low budget and with some unfathomable dialogue. It is eminently watchable though, country boy finds it hard to survive in the city and fights for the rights of the little man. Sort of. I have been meaning to watch the film for years. Definitely worth watching.
Migraine
HAd a mind blowing migraine yesterday. Literally. It felt like someone had taken an axe and lopped it into the top of my head, splitting it from back to near the front. I was sure something was pushing out of my ears and it hurt to do anything. Unfortunately i was amid painting the walls in our house. Moving up and down, back and forth. Staring at ever whiter walls. mmmmm just what i needed. When the Nurofen didn’t work i turned to some Valerian. Aaah much soothed now.
Remember to come to the open house today - but shut tomorrow (sun 7th).
Rotting flesh
My son came upto me in the garden today and said ‘whats that’ as he does a lot. As i looked i replied ‘I don’t know’ with a gulp. He was pointing to a rotting piece of meat the size of my hand (a steak of some sort with a bone through it - don’t ask me for specificsi’m a veggie). He went on ‘its got little ants on it’. Said ants were in fact a hive of blue (green) bottles. In the Autumn sun the stench was palpable. Even after i had tossed it as far over the fence as i could you could smell it. In fact there was a stain on the grassy carpet. The flies still saught it. The sight, smell and experience lived long in my noggin and did turn my stomach. I’d like to pretend i have a strong constitution, but it was tested. I guess the foxes had been disturbed mid feast. My mind turned to the fox who happened upon said feast later this day. ‘Oh what a treat’! And also to the labourers in meat rendering yards. I heared about some guy who made millions out of repackaging rotting chickens. Bleaching i think the order of the day. What with that and the squirrels decimation of the bird table we are on to a good ‘un. At least my wee -1 year old gal didn’t find the festering joint first.
OPEN HOUSE
This and next weekend are Wandsworth Artist open weekends. If you are thinking about coming over to my gaff i wont be able to open this Sunday 7th due to an unavoidable enggement. Please come any other time though for a cuppa and a biccie. Never know, i might make some cake. Oh you can have a look at my artwork too.
Invisible
I seem to have developed the uncanny ability to become invisible whilst riding to work. On each journey lately it appears that at least 2 soles are unable to see me. This power works on pedestrians as well as it does on car and lorry drivers. If only it worked when down the pub. Oh the japes i could have. Today i worked on a van of workmen and a women in her Merc. Apparently all these ’soles’ are able to see is a swiftly departing finger.
slow fish
I was reading aout how scientists are worried that escaped farmed salmon are going to mate with wild salmon with the result a couch potato of a fish. The stock image of a wild salmon is of a lean powerful beast striving to reach its spawning grounds high up stream. Leaping over weirs, rocks and water falls. Aparantly the farmed salmon is flabby and lazy as a result of having to make no huge trek to spawn and being freely fed. Hundreds of thousands of farmed salmon have escaped as the result of seal attacks. Now, i dont know about you but Richard Pryor would have a feild day with that kinda shit. These some crazy shit going on there.
I have an image of some fat lazy salmon in a string vest comng across the hole in its pen, turning round to its mate and saying “Suuuuhh, what you want me to do. I aint getting up offa my crazy coloured ass. I’m getting me a meal in 15 minutes, right after coronation street”. Theres a secondary problem as i se it. Those lithe wild specimens are going to chance upon floundering female fish, too weighed down with love handles and a paunch and take what they can get on the way to the spawning grounds. “Come o baby, i’ll show you a good time, gasp, puff, (draw on fag”. The wild fish will either be too shagged out to continue their journey or a new breed of wild but lay about salmon will be created. Hoodie salmon if you will.
Cornie
As a Devonshire bay’ i do rate Cornish life and as Neil Oliver so expertly put it.
“Cornwall is Englands most coastal county. Maybe thats why so much of its story is outward looking, with an eye to the far horizon. It certainly feels like a place that belongs much more to the sea than to the land. ”
That can be no bad thing. I always just seem to soak into the place (and thats not a reference to the weather).
D’dream - Drop off, San Jose.
RRESOLUTION
What do you think - i already have 2 new years resOLUTIONS SORTED. I dontgoin for all the ritual - just a goodpoint each year to reaffirm a few commitments toones self. One is only as strong as your vices -so my sons father always said. (where vice = something you need to survive. My only vces area cup of hot water each morning and … well theres always something to go without.)
COFTE
Just invented a newdrink - its an earl grey with a half coffee and a neck o maple syrup. mmmm errrm yumm. Not as bad as you might think.Not as good either.
The local newspaper had the front page news - the death ofa local man after he had been drinking, snorting cocaine and apparently engaging in extra-marital sex while his spouse spent the weekend visiting relatives. The story records howhis wife returned home to find his naked body, a porn dvd playing and evidence of cocaine use - none ofwhich she knew about. I was led tothink about where does your greiving start - grief for a man you didn’t really know. He was a Sikh toboot - so which bit of the story doyouexplain to yourself first. Errmmm prostitute…
Aparantly the cofte is still working - 3 1/2hours on (naughty boy - did sneak another cuppa in). Well i am English! Considering going straight edge for the new year however.
Sax
the legend read today “Wank. be the holder of your own destiny”. Classic. Just read and looked through the Banksy book (thanks Harp) ‘wall and piece’. As you would expect he is a man of some intelligence. Any man who speaks of his own epiphany cannot be half bad. Gawd bless.
Followed 2 cars yesterday with sax in the registration. Is this a sign? Am i meant to take up the sax? It was a childhood dream. Dr Sax was driving like a twat by the way.
time + life for Suharto
i found out that TIME LIFE magazine was ordered by The Supreme Court in Indonesia to pay $106 million in damages for defaming former Indonesian dictator Suharto by alleging his family amassed $15 billion during his brutal 32-year rule.
The magazine reported on how he and his family amassed billions of dollars out side the country during his rule. How the hell does this mean they have to pay him another $106 mill? Quick someone claim that i am amassing gold and hordes of cash in a swiss bank account and i’ll have ye so i will. Indonesia is an amazing place full of the most friendly people by the way - best holiday ever.
Aaaaahhh
I am fucked right off, i dont mind telling you. Our fridge is not working for the third time in its first year. You think you would be alright with a Bosch. I want what ever fridge Tyler Durden has - minus the human fat of course. That dont seem to have no problem with intermitent power, open doors and tarrow stains.
We also got the mouse thing going on again. Was caught in a quandry the other night. I have realised that the mice have moved into my garage - my studio. One meandered through the other night while i was at the coal face. I momentarily thought stamp on the fucker ( as i had seen my dad do as a young boy - oh the scars). But i could not do it, as it twitched and sniffed the air. I grabbed a big stick instead, but it wobbled off. The best i could do was pump my nitrous gas in its direction, if that dont scare it off i better the mouse glue out.