I’m in Manchester for a good friends  stag do and only had a month or so to get a ticke. As a result i travelled National Express. Time wise it was not too bad an option. There were some issues however. It was brassicus, in so much that i was cold. A word with the driver resulted in him nudging a random knob on his dashboard without any recognition of my presence. Said nudge had little effect on the wind pumping up my right leg.

I was joined in my twin seat by a Nigerian fellow who was tres friendly and an Arsenal fan. His sense of personal space was a little impaired however. The seats are ‘close’ and i am obviously extremely attractive (mmmm not sure i can pass that) but he was all over me like a rash. A big slightly grubby shirted sexy rash complete with flat cap jauntily angled. As i say he was very friendly and got on well with everyone in the vicinity. He was quite a cheeky chappy and i think the personal space issues were just part of his cheekiness. On sight of my lunch he immediately enquired what i had and watched as i ate the first few mouth fulls commenting on how good it looked and how i was eating at just the right time of day.

The bus actually made it to Manchester early, allaying any fears that i would be spending the weekend on National Express buses. I am glad however to be traveling on the train when we return for the wedding in feb.

On my way home from work yesterday i was still confronted at various points on my journey by gangs of hoodlum Christmas trees. Like unwanted unruly children, thrown out of the home for being useless and causing a mess they were now literally rolling around the streets, waiting to assault careless passing cyclists. I counted over 20 and this is the 14th of Jan. The worst neighbourhoods were all in the borough of Merton. Either the families here are slack or were too trolleyed to notice the end of Christmas had passed. Alternatively the council cannot be bothered to dispose of the needly obstacles.

I cannot recommend a listen to Adam and Joe highly enough. I have just been listening to their last show while working and it easily passed the 5 laughs test. I was a tittering a plenty.

One thing to come out of my listen was hearing Lupe fiasco again. He got it going on.

I have seen and heard 2 things which i found unbelievable these past 2 days. The first was in the statement from one of lady Di’s mates who said they could spend up to 10 hours on the phone chatting. When quized she said it was something women could do, but men wouldn’t understand. Look i know Di was no oil painting but, not going round to have a natter, i mean. I have no interest in the Di inquest what so ever but when i heard this statement on the radio i found it completely un……

The second story to leave me in a state ofdisbelief was the story of the twins who were separated at birth, adopted by seperate families (unaware they were one of a set of twins), met later in life, formed a bond and married. What a head f*$% that must have been, discovering the women you had spent years ‘courting’ was in fact your twin sister.

When did someone twig. Was it while looking through the wedding photos. Ahhh you look luvverly Doreen. You were made for one another - you even have the same profile from this angle. Jees.

I was utterly dejected following my visit to Tooting market. I didn’t see a single mis-spelling. I was pretty busy and did have my hands full. Come on Tooting, don’t let me down now. I want Orbagines, Patatos, cofee, frut and sausepans.

Saw a sign on the way to work today which made me piss. On the window of a video store was proudly displayed the legend “closeing down sale” in huge 2ft tall letters. I think this kind of thing has to be encouraged. If i had a shop i would go out of my way to ensure there was at least one mis spelt word in the window. I do of course live in Mis spelt capital. Tooting has probably one of the highest incidence of crap spelling i have found anywhere. The market is a good place to start. I am planning a trip for just this purpose before the week is out.

My journey to and from work was not punctuated by irate drivers  and the normal near misses. Indeed the roads today and yesterday appeared eerily quiet and bereft of traffic. Why?

I have resolved to try and read more this year I was reasonably proud of my four books read last year. You must remember i only started in September. I was a bit pissed that the last book was not all i had hoped it would be. Here lies a problem. I am, as has been well documented a slow reader. It takes a good deal of my precious time to read a book. If i tread my way say half way through and then loose interest i feel a little dis-illusioned and feel i have wasted my time. Don’t get me wrong, i enjoy reading and immersing myself in another world. I guess i just need to read some good books. Any pointers gladly accepted. Send us a mail or comment using the link below.

In these post new year tea total times i have had to resort to new pastimes. I have spent the evening cleaning out the kitchen cupboard, throwing away infested, out of date or crap goods. If there is one thing i can’t stand is cooking and opening a door and then having to fight to retrieve the colander you need immediately. My work was partially driven by the desire to bring order and partially to rid the kitchen of the moth infestation we are suffering. I found one tin full of seeds, figs and dried fruit crawling in moths and their larvae. I opened the lid to find the contents obscured by thick webbing. The moths seem to adore dried fruit, nuts and powdery items. They particularly enjoy pine nuts and cashews it appears. BASTARDS! I hope their scourge has been lifted. Anyone for a nut roast.

What am i looking forward to this year - seeing Sonali walk, MBV and moving house.

A newly prepared top 10 albums of all time (all i’m able to think about usefully right now) - in no particular order

Karate - karate

Pavement - slanted and enchanted

Public Enemy - Takes a nation of millions

MBV - isn’t anything

joy division - unknown pleasures

Mudhoney - superfuzz big muff

REM -Document

Burial - Untrue

9… oh god that will do for now

Its that time of year when many of us make a (list of) new years resolutions. It’s certainly something i like to do. I make 3 each year, not because i feel i should but because its a fantastic opportunity to cut down on the number of addictions and needs we have. I’m pretty good at keeping to my resolutions unlike many of the rest of you soft pussy’s. Of my 3 from last year i kept to one all year, the other until November and then only broke it twice and the third, well frankly was unrealistic. I should have realised this was my natural frame and weight, honest.

Anyway i intend giving up drinking (booze, not everything - that would be insane) for 3 months at least. I have noticed however that two things have happened. Over the Festive season i have been drinking every day and on a few occasions have felt like  I had poisoned my poor wee body as a result. This is partly down to the Wray and Nephews 63% rum. i am also already making exceptions which so far include a stag do and a wedding. I gotta run anyway got a case of wine some Staropraman and a couple boxes of whiskey to get through yet.

It s about the time of year to be both looking back and forward. I have included 2 of the most toptastic tracks of the year and will muse on the other accolades before the day is out.

I dont really have to say anything, although i could add stronger words. Just look at this photo. YUCK! Yes i’m a sour pomme. OOh unfortunately u rock! Or something like that.